Being a first-time parent had its ups and downs. When it seemed like you were turning the corner to get the hang of things, you find yourself falling flat on your face. This uncertainty and deem existence became cyclical. One day I woke up to realize my spouse was gone and never coming back. It was an initial shock that I had learned to live with.
For our son, he was barely one year and two months when he realized his father wasn’t coming back. I saw it in his eyes — the silent grief, the unspoken confusion. He would cry for hours, and his appetite disappeared. Food became a battleground, but I was determined not to let his pain deepen. I became creative, trying new recipes, turning meals into games, anything to get a smile out of him again. It was a dim and dark journey I would never wish on any child. There was no bereavement yet it felt like the loss of a spouse.
At the time I was already expecting our second child, and I had to remain strong and keep his mind off the absence that hung like a shadow over our little home. I visited family and friends with him, played music, danced, and read with him, turned laundry folding into a game.
I would watch educational, soothing programs and prayed also prayed with him. Slowly, he began to smile again. We began to heal and look forward to the next day.
Time past and then came another shift — I gave birth to his baby sister. The joy that lit up his face the first time he saw her was like a sunrise after a long night. He was so happy. He wanted to help, to be part of her care, and so I let him. Even at under two years old, he took delight in small chores like taking diapers to the trash and fetching baby wipes. These small acts gave him a sense of purpose, a distraction from the pain.
Our little family began to find a rhythm. I watched him grow in kindness and leadership, even in his own tiny way. We didn’t have the perfect family, but we had love — and sometimes that’s all you need to weather the storm.
Reflection
Sometimes the deepest healing comes through love. When we involve our children in nurturing and caring, we build resilience in both them and ourselves.
Scripture References
Isaiah 66:13 (NIV): “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.”
Romans 8:28 (NIV): “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Prayer
Lord, thank You for the gift of love and resilience. Help every single parent find strength in the small victories and joy in unexpected places. Bind up the wounds of our children and remind them of the hope that lies ahead. Amen.
Call to Action
Identify simple ways your child can contribute to the family rhythm, no matter their age. Use these opportunities to foster connection and healing, and be consistent.